Tag Archives: letter to me

A Letter to Me on my 37th Birthday

7 Jul me on my 37th birthday

me on my 37th birthdayHi you,

Happy birthday, dude.

37 fricken’ years old. Crazy! You still feel fifteen half of the time, hell, you still act fifteen three-quarters of the time. You’re just as confused about what you want to be and do when you grow up…. maybe it’s time to face that you’ll never grow out of that? That is, unless you become super-mega amazing at one thing and hit stratospheric heights of success doing it.

You’re doing good though. You’re trying, you know? You’re trying to keep it all together and be all grown up and shit, and I reckon most of the time you pull it off.  Most of the time is a pretty good effort, really.
Those other little moments where you fall apart don’t really count as anything other than testament to the fact that you’re a dramatic and emotional individual!

No one can possibly have it together 100% of the time. They just pretend they do, to keep up appearances.

You’ve had the toughest year of your life, to date. There’s no doubt about it. Health issues, your ring being stolen and subsequent legal shit, life….I think this year has been the biggest test of your marriage, but you know what? There will be other hard years too. I think the best thing to remember is, it’s just life.
We have shit in our lives, and we just have to work through it. It’s not just you, it’s everyone.

We all have shit and the only way is through.

Try to be kinder to yourself. You would never speak as harshly to a friend as you speak to yourself in your head. Be a better friend to yourself.

You’ve made some good friends in the last year and you’ve lost some people too. That’s ok. People come and go in life. You know who the important ones are. The ones that fill you with joy.

You need to remember to find solace in your own company also.
Stop filling up all of your time with people. It’s important to be quiet sometimes.

It’s also more important to be kind, than it is to be right.

I think that one of the biggest things you’ve learned this year.

You’ve done some big work on yourself in this past year, but it’s not time to get complacent. You’re a work in progress, my dear. You must be. If you ever stop growing and evolving then it might as well be game over. You haven’t learned everything yet, and you will make 100 more mistakes, put your foot in your mouth again and balls it up along the way.

Just stay open. Remember to be gracious, remember to stop and enjoy everything and not just rush along all the time. You’re at home with your children now so you can be there for them, so remember to do that. Take a breath sometimes and just chill out. I realise chillaxing is fairly against your character, but those quiet, simple moments are the golden ones. The ones you and your children will carry forth in your memories for years to come.

You’ve had a productive year, but the work is not finished. To truly create this space you wish for, you must not tire of the journey. True luck doesn’t really exist and you need to create your own luck. The best luck comes to the hardest workers.

Life is not easy, my friend, but it is wonderful, and wondrous. You have amazing, generous, loving people in your life, and you need to remember that in those maudlin moments. You are loved.

You’ve accomplished a lot in the last 12 months, so concentrate on what you have achieved and not on what you haven’t. Looking back at your last birthday letter, you’ve come a long way emotionally.

You need to lighten up a bit too, I reckon. Don’t take this wrong way but you’re a bit uptight. I’m sure the people closest to you would agree that you could afford to loosen your laces, toots.

Your life is rich.

Your life is wonderful.

Live it with integrity and courage.

All my love,

Me

PS Stop being so bloody bah humbug about your birthday. It’s something to celebrate, for god’s sake, you old tart.

me on my 37th birthday

A Letter To Myself, One Month On – September

27 Sep

Hey you,

I thought I would jump up and write this to you today because today seems to be an auspicious day.
Last night was KiKi’s best sleep in about 6 weeks, and just one good night makes you feel as though there is light at the end of the tunnel, and that light is not a train.

You woke with such great optimism and pep that you were even brave enough to jump on the scales. Finally, after a million batches of biscuits, you are only 500g from your pre-baby weight. You know deep down you don’t deserve it, but all that lack of sleep has to be good for something, right?
Very jammy, darling. Very jammy indeed.

It’s amazing how a skinny day and good sleep can make the world seem a better place. You can do anything today –  even leap tall buildings in a single bound! Best make sure you wear trousers though as a skirt could leave people with retina damage.

It’s been a lovely month. Having your Dad to visit was so special. 10 days was the longest time he’s ever visited for and it was sad to see him leave. It’s funny how your relationship is growing stronger the older you get. I guess learning that your parents are just people too, is one of the biggest lessons ever.
Your Dad wasn’t emotionally or physically available growing up, but the relationship is so great now, I know you wouldn’t change it, for fear of the balance being shifted somehow.
Hearing him say ‘I love you’ to his grandson will stay in your heart forever, for they were not words he could easily say when you were a child, but now they come naturally.
D Man positively bloomed to be near him, and poor old Grandpapa needed a holiday when he left. I sincerely hope that he comes to visit regularly.

Family was always important to you, but never more so than now. Watching relationships blossom between your children and their grandparents is priceless, but also important.
History is important. Knowing where you come from is important.

One in and one out the door, because now your in-laws are here.
They are different to your people, and you need to remember that. They are good people, earnest people, and they love your family in their own gentle way.

It’s equally important for these relationships to grow as they are one half of your babies, and that half has as much history, as much richness, and as much love as yours.
Your Mama Bear will be here next week, too, so already next month is shaping up to be another special time.

Only one more month to go until the big Half Iron Man for Mister H. All these months of hard training, compromising and sacrificing are coming into fruition. One day you won’t remember any of that stuff, only the great achievement made by your man. He set himself a wild dream and he worked hard to make it happen. It’s commendable, and when you think of the physical toil it takes, it’s actually quite insurmountable for many people. Things will slow down a bit after that, at least for a minute until he gets the bug again.

It’ll be wonderful to all go as a family to see him compete. It will mean the world to him to have his babies, and of course, his wife, on the sideline….and Lord knows, he’ll need some moral support for his gruelling race.
You have not loved this Iron Man journey, but you vowed on that October day in 2010 to support each other’s dreams, and that is an important vow.

You’re doing really well on your project. You need to not let self-doubt creep in. Try to remember that you are absolutely good enough, for whatever you want. Just take the steps, one at a time, and reach for what you want. There is no space to believe you won’t succeed, but you must also remember that success takes many guises.
Just keep doing it because you love it, and trust that the rest will follow.

All in all, you’re doing so much better. You’ve got a great little groove on and your energy is good.

I love you heaps, don’t ever forget it.

Always,

Me.

A Letter To Me, One Month On – August

26 Aug

Hey You,

I really wanted to write you a quick letter to check in with you, we haven’t touched base since your birthday. You’ve had a really big month or so and it hasn’t all been roses.
You smashed the car, dude. What happened??? I know it was really scary and I’m not going to beat you up about it, but that was a really closed one, babe. You can vague out at the washing line, and you can be distracted at playgroup, but driving the car? Come on. You have very precious cargo.
You’re very lucky you didn’t hurt anyone because you would struggle to live with yourself. Anyway, the angels were watching you this time, don’t let there be a next time. I don’t think your husband or the law would be as forgiving if it happened again.

Otherwise, your month seems to have been pretty good, huh? You actually did do those things you promised yourself you would. Anyone can talk it up, but to act on it isn’t always easy. You took the positive steps you needed to take and I just wanted to say ‘welcome back, you’.
You haven’t tried to move mountains, but taking an afternoon at the movies or a pizza night with a girlfriend has really given you back a sense of you. That’s all you needed, just to reconnect with yourself. It doesn’t mean you love your family any less….and the household seems to run just fine without you for a few hours.

It’s really great to see you feeling sunnier, and it’s still not always easy, but it’s certainly easier to handle the world when you’re feeling positive with a whacking great big smile on your face.
You have such precious little time in the day for yourself, don’t waste it doing more chores than you have to. Spend it wisely doing something you love. You’re so enjoying writing, so honor that and say screw the housework.
Just remember you need to put your feet up sometimes. You really aren’t Wonder Woman, but you do keep trying to squeeze into those hot pants.
You can have a super tidy house once a week (or fortnight), dude. What does it matter every day? It’s not forever…..one day you’ll get a damn cleaner again. I know you miss those guys.

I’m not sure why it’s suddenly happened after almost 12 months of living here, but how bloody nice is it to have a few friends in the neighbourhood? It’s not easy as an adult to make friends but slowly, slowly new people are coming into your life. You created that. Don’t ever forget how powerful the power of the mind is, and you can manifest anything you want. You asked for a network of people within walking distance…..if you build it blah blah, don’t want to get all Anthony Robbins on you, but you know it’s true.
Be careful what you ask for, and be specific, but you are creating your reality every day. Make sure you stay positive, because that draws positivity to you.

Your time away with your family was so precious. Don’t be sad that it can’t happen all the time. Be grateful that your family is only an hour’s plane ride away and that they love you and your children unconditionally and that they are always there to support you. Maybe in the future you will live nearer each other but this is just the way it is right now. Dwell on the positives of that, because you’re building a lovely family home with your little family now, and that home needs to be filled with joy, not longing.

It seems that the long cold winter is breaking, metaphorically also. Kiki is growing so fast, and those smiles and giggles just melt your heart. The toughest part is over. It’s not quite all smooth sailing from here, but it gets easier from here. Those first 12 weeks are the hardest.

Try to commit to your memory forever that feeling you felt today when you were walking to the park and D Man slipped his little hand into your hand, without a word, just because he wanted to touch you. Those days won’t last forever.
The only thing you can always bank on, is change. Life is flying by so quickly you can guarantee he’ll be running too fast to hold your slow, old hand soon.

Try to be present. Sometimes when you’re trying to do too many things, you get frustrated with everybody needing something from you, just try to be present (especially driving the car, muppet). D Man is only two, he’s really just a baby. He doesn’t understand that there is anything else but what he wants. He has plenty of time to learn that, and you’ll be the one to teach him, but it won’t happen tomorrow.

Anyway, I just wanted to say it’s great that you’re feeling great.
I love you, You. I may not always show it, but I do.

Lots of love,

Me.

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A Letter To Me On My 36th Birthday

7 Jul us

Hey you,

Happy birthday, my friend.
I wanted to write you a love letter for your birthday because you’ve been feeling a little blue lately. You need to lighten up on yourself, lady. You’re doing the best you can and you’re doing a great job.
When you had dreams of riches and fame, you thought a life less ordinary was the only kind of life worth living. Lately, you’ve been viewing your life as very ordinary. Well, let me tell you, you are anything but ordinary and you have plenty to be thankful for.

Your toddler is driving you nuts because he is energetic. He has a curiosity that makes him get into everything. That’s because he’s bright and his brain works beautifully. Your two children are the very picture of health. Just look at a children’s hospital ward and see how much you have to be thankful for for this simple thing alone.
Your husband loves you and supports your creativity and dreams (despite occasional mocking, he’s a little bit proud.). He takes care of himself, emotionally and physically, but not so vain that he spends much more time in the mirror than you. Don’t resent the time he takes to pursue his passions, and don’t martyr yourself in your children’s name.
Make time for you -take time for you – to nurture your needs. You’ll be a better mother and partner if you do. Just do it. Starting today.

You’re in a financial position that allows you to care for your children, and though there may not be large amounts of disposable income, you do not go without the important things……and yearly European vacations aren’t classified as important, honey. Consider yourself lucky that you’ve experienced these things in the past, and there will be time again in the future. You have a lovely home, that you feel safe and comfortable in, and you’re paying off a mortgage that may at times feel like a noose in it’s commitment, but in fact, you’re getting ahead, paving a future for yourself and your family. It’s not easy to do that in this city, so you are in a very fortunate position.

Don’t measure your success in monetary measures. Success should be measured in happiness, and fulfilment. When you gauge your life on this scale, are you a success? There’s always room for more happiness and more fulfilment, but you’re definitely already a success. So what if you don’t quite know what you want to be when you grow up. Trust that you’re on your path and keep being creative.

It’s ok to feel sad sometimes, to have a blue day. It’s ok to feel lonely, but remember you have many friends who adore you and you only have to pick up the phone if you need to talk.
This is a big time in your life. The last two years have been the biggest of all. They have brought great joy, great learning, growth and challenges. This craziness will calm down soon and it will boil down to one  or two chapters of your life. It’s just consuming now, but there’s the whole rest of the book to be written yet. Laugh at the chaos, laugh at the dog poo on your shoes, laugh at the piles of washing because crying ain’t going to change it and laughing makes you feel better. As they say, laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you get a big, red baboon-arse face, or something like that. Don’t wish this time away, because it’s fleeting and you’ll never get it back.

Have a wonderful year, and may your hopes, dreams and aspirations all come to fruition, and be kind to yourself in the meantime.

Lots of love,

Me xxx

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