This wasn’t just any old ‘someone’, but someone who was once so close to me that he and I used to call each other brother and sister. We did this not because we are related by blood, but because trying to explain our relationship to people was too hard.
We were more than friends.
We were even more than best friends.
We were BFFs…… we thought.
I don’t know exactly where it went pear shaped, there was no singular event, but I do remember the time in our lives, and it was complicated for the both of us, to say the least. We were living together, but our lives were very separate. We were both engrossed in our own stuff and I guess we needed some space.
There’s space, and then there’s SPACE, because as I was driving along I realised that this man – that I once called my brother – did not know that I was married to a red-head, with whom I was set up on blind date.
He did not know that I had a son with beautiful, deep grey eyes and a cheeky smile, and neither did he know that I had a daughter, named after my great-grandmother.
I had no idea where he lived, or even if he lived, and I was suddenly filled with profound sadness at this thought. As soon as I stopped driving I called his phone, hoping he had the same number.
I got voicemail, of course, what an anti-climax, and I left a message just saying I was thinking about him, and maybe we could talk if he wanted to.
I left it in his court, but at the very least I wanted him to know that he was in my thoughts.
I didn’t hear anything for a few days, and then I got a text. Maybe he wasn’t ready to talk, just yet.
Maybe he needed to see if we still had rapport?
After a few tentative texts back and forth, I invited him over for lunch, and I’m so thrilled that I did because it was just like old times.
Friendship is a funny thing, isn’t it?
How someone, with whom you were once invincible, suddenly doesn’t fit, and then perhaps down the line you do fit again. Or you fit differently but it’s still nice.
It isn’t the first time my river meandered away from someone who was my left bank and then, with time, moved back towards them, and I’m sure it won’t be the last, but sometimes you just need to take a step towards someone….make the first move towards rekindling. It’s not about pride, or swallowing it, it’s about saying ‘Life is too damned short, I wonder what my old friend is up to?’
I strongly urge you to call someone today, someone you let slip away, and just tell them you’re thinking of them. You don’t need lunch or a grand gesture.
It feels really nice.
I wanted to BBQ a whole fish this Spring, and this lunch seemed the perfect occasion.
He was a 2 kilo snapper, and he was delicious.
I was hoping to BBQ a fish that I had never cooked before but when I was at the fishmonger, Steve was winking at me and I couldn’t resist his fishy goodness.
Yield : 1 BBQ’d fish
You will need :
- one fish, cleaned and scaled
- 3 cloves garlic, skin removed
- juice and zest of 1 lime, retain husks
- 1 teaspoon cumin
- 1 birdseye chili, deseeded if you prefer
- 50ml olive oil
- handful of coriander root and leaves
What you need to do :
- Score your fish deeply in the sides to allow for the marinade to penetrate.
- In a mortar and pestle (or small food processor) add everything except the olive oil and pound until it forms a paste. Add your oil and stir to combine.
- Rub mixture all over your fish, and put empty lime husks inside. Refrigerate for at least 40 minutes for let the flavours infuse.
- Our fish BBQ cage thing was too small to accommodate Steve so we got a little creative and sandwiched him between two cake racks. He didn’t know the difference and it just kept him over the heat instead on directly on it.
- We did a little lid up, and then a little lid down action, cooking each side for about 20 minutes. He was pretty fat, so you’ll need to adjust according to the fatness of your fishy.
I really think that BBQing anything makes it yummier, and Steve was no exception. I served him with a soba noodle salad, but you could eat this with rice and Asian greens, or stir fry, or even potato salad if it takes your fancy.