Keeping Up With The Holsbys

Ok, let me preface this entire post by saying I don’t actually need anything this year.

My children are happy and healthy, and the recent return of my engagement ring is really present enough for this year…..now that I have that lovely sentiment out of the way, there are maybe a couple of little things that would improve the quality of my life.

I would love to be altruistic and ask everyone to buy a village a goat and call it Mrs H, or send school books to impoverished lands, and, of course, I definitely  encourage this behaviour, but I do love to receive a little somethin’ somethin’ under the Christmas tree, so I can jump up early on Christmas morning and with bleary eyes and morning breath, tear into the brightly coloured paper and have just a few moments of magic before the gluttonous festivities commence.

I am a consumer.

I love to give gifts and I love to receive gifts.

The thing is, whenever someone says, ‘what would you like for Christmas?’ I go completely blank and I can’t think of a damned thing I want.
I thought I’d pop together a few suggestions, in case you wanted to put something under my tree……

Robo-Vacuum

ROBO-VACUUM

I have made no secret about how I feel about vacuuming. I’m also a bit sick of the cat. I wonder if this is the perfect answer???

Grass Thongs

GRASS THONGS

I love walking bare foot in grass, but I’m finding that the grass out here in the ‘burbs is a veritable minefield. If i’m not hobbling from bindis, I’m getting dog-poo between my bare toes. These are the perfect solution and they can be worn year round.

Finger Food Picker

FINGER FOOD PICKER

Eating with your hands is soooo 2012. This year, when I host parties, I want to dazzle everyone with some finger-food pickers. Hell, I could still eat even if all my other fingers were broken. One must be most mindful of not picking ones nose though, as no-one wants to dash their hostess with the mostess to Emergency with a punctured septum.

Wine Glass Bottle

BOTTLE GLASS

I don’t think this really needs much of an explanation, but I definitely need one of these, please, Santa. Tell those elves that I might even need two.

Oops, I Did It Again Apron

BRITTANY APRON

I’m not really one for role play, but I reckon I could channel a little Brittany with an apron like this. Ironically, instead of protecting my clothes whilst cooking, it’s more likely to hide the banana and vomit stained atrocity underneath.

Bacon Marmalade

BACON MARMALADE

I love bacon. I love marmalade. Hello, pig gastronomy.

Wine Rack Sports Bra

WINE RACK SPORTS BRA

This is freaking awesome!!! I love exercise. It really helps me with my mood, with my energy levels and with my sanity. I love wine for pretty much the same reason, and now it’s entirely possible to do a high-intensity session without spilling a drop.

Result!

Toastie Hand Warmers

TOASTIE HAND WARMERS

This house was really cold last winter and I often found as I was typing my fingers were frozen…..not with these toastie little rippers.
You plug them into your USB holes and they are heated. Who comes up with the stuff? Totally awesome genius’, ya.

Eat Fit Cutlery

EAT FIT CUTLERY

Once again, I love to eat and I love to work out….with time being so precious, why wouldn’t I try to fit more of both into my day? I think it may be awkward when my Pop-Eye arms bust out of my clothes because I’ve done too many reps over the silly season.

Sound Proof Headphones

SOUND PROOF HEADPHONES

I probably won’t even listen to music. Silence truly is golden…..or I might crank a little ‘Don’t Stop Till You Get Enough’ while I vacuum.

Oh, that’s right, I won’t need to vacuum with my Robo-Vac.

Can’t wait for Christmas morning!

What are you hoping to see under your tree this year?

Tags: christmas, consumer, gifts, humor, wish list