Grandpapa Takes Us To The Aquarium

What's Been On My Mind?

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  It’s Just Me.

  
  

  When I was about 19 or so, I went to a music festival called Alternative Nation. It was Australia’s answer to Lullapalooza. Like any self-respecting music festival it was incredibly muddy due to enormous amounts of rain leading up to the day and on the actual day itself. Towards the evening, there was a naked […]

• Courage of Conviction

  
  

  I saw a documentary aaaaages ago about birth, and the different choices women make. There was a lesbian couple, a single lady, a woman undergoing about her 10th IVF treatment, someone who had elective caesarian, someone who had a home water birth, a lady who loved her nephews infinitely but never wanted a child of […]

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  WANTED – ONE VILLAGE. Serious applicants need only apply.

  
  

  Last week I went to the loo. Nothing ground breaking there, however, last week I got to close the door. Not only that, but after I was finished, I sat there for a minute or two longer than I needed to. Just sitting. Thinking about nothing. Just picking my cuticles and thinking about making a […]

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  A Letter Of Complaint to the Manufacturers of the Female Anatomy.

  
  

  To Whom It May Concern at the Lady Factory, I’d like to register a formal complaint, please, because I sincerely believe that your engineers were a tad hasty in the signing off of this project. I would like to preface my complaint by saying I truly feel that many features are perfect. The lady lumps […]

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  A Letter To Me On My 36th Birthday

  
  

  Hey you, Happy birthday, my friend. I wanted to write you a love letter for your birthday because you’ve been feeling a little blue lately. You need to lighten up on yourself, lady. You’re doing the best you can and you’re doing a great job. When you had dreams of riches and fame, you thought […]